| Rank | Legend | Votes | Average |
|---|
| 1 | America's Funniest Home Videos originally showcased an hour of Bob Saget fucking neighborhood dogs. | 70 | 8.43 |
| 2 | Bob Saget refers to the eyesocket as "Eleventh Base"... Bases from sixth to tenth are Bob's well-guarded secret, usually because it involves the death of the hooker, before or after the act itself... | 72 | 8.38 |
| 3 | On the set of Full House, Bob Saget played the role of Danny Tanner. His dick, played the Golden Gate Bridge. | 233 | 8.36 |
| 4 | Bob Saget invented the "glory hole" when he cut a hole into the wall of his little sister's bedroom. | 82 | 8.33 |
| 5 | Bob Saget showed me a video of him having sex with my wife. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. | 77 | 8.29 |
| 6 | Bob Saget has one rule of thumb to live by: "If fucking an 11 year old is wrong, I don't wanna be right." | 68 | 8.26 |
| 7 | If you go into your bathroom, turn off the lights and say "Full House" three times, Bob Saget will jump out of your mirror and skull-fuck your little sister. | 102 | 8.23 |
| 8 | Bob Saget ran a short lived campaign for President in 1996 until a video surfaced which showed him slapping his cock in the Olson twin's faces while shitting on a dead nun with a pentagram carved in her nude chest, and then snorting coke off of his own cock, giving himself oral sex, opening his refrigerator to reveal severed heads of holocaust victims, then jerking off all over a boy scout troop.
Saget withdrew from the race citing concerns that "the other video" would surface. | 87 | 8.05 |
| 9 | There is a 1/3 chance that Bob Saget is motorboating your mom's ass cheeks right now. | 65 | 8.02 |
| 10 | On an unreleased episode of "Full House" DJ tells says "Dad, I'm pregnant." Bob Saget responds with "Was it me?!" DJ responds with "I think so." | 65 | 8 |
| 11 | Bob Saget's jizz is a powerful adhesive agent. This, of course, is why Chuck Norris' face is stuck the way it is. | 73 | 7.96 |
| 12 | The Bob Saget signature shocker- "Two in the Pink. A Fist in the Stink." | 86 | 7.8 |
| 13 | Bob Saget doesn't consider it sex if the woman isn't brutally wounded. | 71 | 7.77 |
| 14 | Bob Saget can only get an erection if his sexual partner has Down's Syndrome. | 81 | 7.75 |
| 15 | Bob Saget washes his balls every morning in a bowl of fresh hooker spit. | 80 | 7.75 |
| 16 | Full House is actually the name of a sexual maneuver Bob Saget invented where he sticks his entire cock and balls into a hookers mouth. To this day Bob Saget cannot believe this coincidence. | 200 | 7.74 |
| 17 | Bob Saget actually grew a second dick, just so he could double stuff your grandma without grandpa finding out! | 78 | 7.69 |
| 18 | Bob Saget loves visiting nursing homes--mostly because of the hand jobs from the Parkinson's patients. | 109 | 7.68 |
| 19 | While at the height of Full House's popularity, Bob Saget was known as "America's Dad." That's probably because he fucked all of your moms. | 86 | 7.66 |
| 20 | Once an innocent child asked if he could call Bob Saget "Bobby". there was an awkward moment of silence just before Bob vomited donkey marrow on the helpless child and then proceeded to blood-rape the child's father to hell just for even talking to him. | 86 | 7.63 |
| 21 | Bob Saget knows the shortest distance between two hookers is a straight line of Colombian white. | 152 | 7.63 |
| 22 | People are 95% water. Bob Saget is 95% cock. | 62 | 7.61 |
| 23 | Bob Saget was once arrested for allegedly fondling a thirteen year old girl.
By "allegedly" I mean "repeatedly" and by "fondling" I mean "skullfucking."
Okay...she (I mean "he") was thirteen in dog years. Did I mention this was a dog? | 108 | 7.61 |
| 24 | Bob Saget holds the record for teabagging the most people in a day. He breaks it every day. He ALSO holds the record for giving the most concussions. He breaks that every day too... | 64 | 7.59 |
| 25 | Once in kindergarden Bob Saget brought a dead hooker to show and tell. | 170 | 7.59 |
| 26 | Bob Saget's notion of community service would be to fuck a fat chick | 99 | 7.59 |
| 27 | Bob Saget fucked his own mother to get back at his father for missing his eleventh birthday party. | 77 | 7.58 |
| 28 | Bob Saget always wears a condom, even when the girl is too young to get pregnant. | 77 | 7.55 |
| 29 | If you ever want to know what Bob Saget is really like in person, ask your mom. | 82 | 7.52 |
| 30 | In Half Baked Bob Saget sucked dick for coke. But in real life, in 1855, Friedrich Gaedcke sucked Bob Saget's dick in exchange for telling him how to isolate Cocaine from the Coca leaf. | 64 | 7.52 |
