Top Saget Legends

RankLegendVotesAverage
1America's Funniest Home Videos originally showcased an hour of Bob Saget fucking neighborhood dogs.708.43
2Bob Saget refers to the eyesocket as "Eleventh Base"... Bases from sixth to tenth are Bob's well-guarded secret, usually because it involves the death of the hooker, before or after the act itself...728.38
3On the set of Full House, Bob Saget played the role of Danny Tanner. His dick, played the Golden Gate Bridge.2338.36
4Bob Saget invented the "glory hole" when he cut a hole into the wall of his little sister's bedroom.828.33
5Bob Saget showed me a video of him having sex with my wife. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.778.29
6Bob Saget has one rule of thumb to live by: "If fucking an 11 year old is wrong, I don't wanna be right."688.26
7If you go into your bathroom, turn off the lights and say "Full House" three times, Bob Saget will jump out of your mirror and skull-fuck your little sister.1028.23
8Bob Saget ran a short lived campaign for President in 1996 until a video surfaced which showed him slapping his cock in the Olson twin's faces while shitting on a dead nun with a pentagram carved in her nude chest, and then snorting coke off of his own cock, giving himself oral sex, opening his refrigerator to reveal severed heads of holocaust victims, then jerking off all over a boy scout troop. Saget withdrew from the race citing concerns that "the other video" would surface.878.05
9There is a 1/3 chance that Bob Saget is motorboating your mom's ass cheeks right now.658.02
10On an unreleased episode of "Full House" DJ tells says "Dad, I'm pregnant." Bob Saget responds with "Was it me?!" DJ responds with "I think so."658
11Bob Saget's jizz is a powerful adhesive agent. This, of course, is why Chuck Norris' face is stuck the way it is.737.96
12The Bob Saget signature shocker- "Two in the Pink. A Fist in the Stink."867.8
13Bob Saget doesn't consider it sex if the woman isn't brutally wounded.717.77
14Bob Saget can only get an erection if his sexual partner has Down's Syndrome.817.75
15Bob Saget washes his balls every morning in a bowl of fresh hooker spit.807.75
16Full House is actually the name of a sexual maneuver Bob Saget invented where he sticks his entire cock and balls into a hookers mouth. To this day Bob Saget cannot believe this coincidence.2007.74
17Bob Saget actually grew a second dick, just so he could double stuff your grandma without grandpa finding out!787.69
18Bob Saget loves visiting nursing homes--mostly because of the hand jobs from the Parkinson's patients.1097.68
19While at the height of Full House's popularity, Bob Saget was known as "America's Dad." That's probably because he fucked all of your moms.867.66
20Once an innocent child asked if he could call Bob Saget "Bobby". there was an awkward moment of silence just before Bob vomited donkey marrow on the helpless child and then proceeded to blood-rape the child's father to hell just for even talking to him.867.63
21Bob Saget knows the shortest distance between two hookers is a straight line of Colombian white.1527.63
22People are 95% water. Bob Saget is 95% cock.627.61
23Bob Saget was once arrested for allegedly fondling a thirteen year old girl. By "allegedly" I mean "repeatedly" and by "fondling" I mean "skullfucking." Okay...she (I mean "he") was thirteen in dog years. Did I mention this was a dog?1087.61
24Bob Saget holds the record for teabagging the most people in a day. He breaks it every day. He ALSO holds the record for giving the most concussions. He breaks that every day too...647.59
25Once in kindergarden Bob Saget brought a dead hooker to show and tell.1707.59
26Bob Saget's notion of community service would be to fuck a fat chick997.59
27Bob Saget fucked his own mother to get back at his father for missing his eleventh birthday party.777.58
28Bob Saget always wears a condom, even when the girl is too young to get pregnant.777.55
29If you ever want to know what Bob Saget is really like in person, ask your mom.827.52
30In Half Baked Bob Saget sucked dick for coke. But in real life, in 1855, Friedrich Gaedcke sucked Bob Saget's dick in exchange for telling him how to isolate Cocaine from the Coca leaf.647.52

Submit a New Saget Legend

Style suggestions for Saget Legends:

  • Think of Saget Legends as a variation on The Aristocrats. Keep it filthy. Submissions lacking profanity, lewdness, obscenity, or not appealing to prurient interests will be deleted.
  • Saget Legends are not Chuck Norris Facts. Bob Saget doesn't beat people up with his fists, he uses his cock. He has never roundhouse kicked anyone, except with his cock. And it was for a very good cause.
  • Use the third person. It's not "I used to suck dick for coke," it's "Bob Saget used to suck dick for coke." Use his name a lot. He likes that.
  • It's Saget, not Faget. Bob Saget is not gay. In these legends feel free to have him participate in homosexual activity, but just calling him gay wasn't funny 10 years ago, and it's not funny now.
  • There is a Bob Saget Random Fact Generator on another site. Those facts would not be welcome here. Don't post them. We are interested only in legends.
  • All Legends are submitted for moderation and may take a while to appear.
  • I reserve the right to edit all submissions to make them funnier.
  • Voting multiple times for your own submissions is really lame.
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